I Live it...Because of YOU!
In the midst of hundreds of unread emails was this little miracle. This little kindness. Crystal you, kind-sweet-beautiful-soul, I promise you, I have an immensely grateful heart for you. Thank you you so much for taking time out of your day to spread a little love to us.
I like to think I have a grateful hear and that's why the universe sent me Crystal, as my miracle today. It's a miracle that even though Crystal is one of the subscribers affected by the chaos. Somehow she found it in her heart to spread love and encouragement. I found it beautifully ironic that one of my own subscribers literally "spread love, no matter the occasion".
I couldn't have a more grateful heart right now. Crystal, I'm so grateful for humans like you! As I sit and process refunds, finish product procurement for March’s box, finalize the Valentine’s Sale code at 6:48 in the morning, Western European time.
I'm looking at the dark sky, it's just barely lit by moonlight and my heart is bursting with gratitude. When did I get here? The place where I’m sitting, living in Spain, cancer free, healthy, and happy? Like when did my life literally become a love affair every second?
The incredible thing is, I feel like I know when that exact moment happened but I couldn't allow myself to feel it because of where I was. Let me explain, so last night I was having a conversation with a dear friend whom I hadn’t really had a chance to catch up with for awhile. We were talking and well, last he heard I was gravely ill. I explained how my health was like completely 180 degrees better. He was so curious about what had brought on this current “good health streak” and just like my “chipper” vibe.
At first when I went to answer I thought I’d tell him how I started a company, and how many hours I put into finding products, and how I design every box myself on my iPhone and how happy it has made me. But then I thought to myself, that’s not the complete answer to this.
I didn’t just start a company, I started a company because I almost died, and it changed my life. Like deep down I always knew I started Spoonie Essentials Box when I desperately wanted to pay the universe back for saving my life. I needed to help as many people as I could cause I owed a debt, I was living on borrowed time. Which I still kinda agree with, I just realize it wasn’t for what I originally thought. It’s like honestly the scariest shit I’ve ever lived through, my Dress Syndrome flair. Initially I thought I was given chronic illness as a punishment for being saved, so SEB was my redemption. I'd earn my good karma back right.
But then last year during some of the toughest patches of my health, I had an obligation to help others because they paid for their boxes. I was forced in that moment to look myself in the mirror and admit I wasn’t taking the best care of myself anymore. I was allowing my illnesses to have me, I didn’t have them. I have Crohn’s disease, Lupus, and Dress Syndrome. It’s not the other way around.
How could I be posting on social media everyday telling people to take better care of themselves and love themselves, while I’m NOT? That’s like the exact definition of hypocritical. It wasn’t over night or anything, but slowly but surely by having too post daily doses of positivity for all SEB followers and fans, I was slowly coming back to life. I had to come up with the content for blogs, videos, Instagram, and Facebook post all on my own.
There came a point, when I stopped just posting about it and start LIVING IT.
Quite awhile after this revelation, I went to visit one of SEB’s first subscribers. I remember literally holding back tears the entire visit because it hit me, at her house, in her living room......
I lived through everything I did because this was my purpose, not because I was being punished.
SEB is my family. And I couldn’t be more grateful every single second for your love, your support, and helping me to find my purpose in life. You inspire me daily & I live it, because of you!
Xo Britt
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