#SEBestLife

Between the dull aching pain of my joints, the searing torture of my intestines, or the ridiculous amounts of legal drugs constantly flowing through my body;  I never sleep . You'd think I'd be so grateful that I had more time in a day to accomplish things right? But really I'm constantly walking around functioning like the walking dead. Zombie life is so real,  insomnia  is one of those side effects of chronic illness no one ever tells you about. No one says "you'll be physically and mentally exhausted, but your body will not sleep". The worst part isn't that I'm in pain and I can't sleep, the worst part is that I'm awake alone with my thoughts all the time. A never ending stream of consciousness. Our minds can be our greatest assets or our worst nightmares. I try to occupy the hours with writing blogs, reading for my graduate school classes, or binge watching  Scandal;  but nothing really helps me evade the innocuous thoughts that constan

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me". Whoever said that, was a fucking lie. A bold faced, making shit all the way up, LIE! I don't remember the specific day I heard this as a child, but I know for a long time I really and truly believed the things people said to me didn't matter. They couldn't hurt me, because they were only words. Things that I had the choice to give power too or not. There was no insult, no demeaning or belittling statement, that could bother me. Well, so I thought. The truth is, my truth is, the things people say  DO   ACTUALLY HURT .  This is going to get real uncomfortable, but bear with me... I'm just a woman with an iPhone confessing my truths, one key stroke at a time.  I thought that while on one hand, there was nothing anyone could say that would penetrate my armor; and on the other, people usually said what they meant, and meant what they say. What people said to me and how they said it, didn&