Four Phrases to Say Less to Love Yourself More!

In college I was a member of like 5 different Track & Field teams. What can I say, I transferred schools a couple times lol. I was a thrower. I threw discus, hammer, and weight throw seriously but played around with the other "field" events. 

Competing in Track & Field is probably one of the greatest memories I have of my "pre-sick" times. I can't remember  every track meet, but I can remember some like they were yesterday. I used to be very annoyed by how vivid my memories were, since throwing really isn't a thing for me anymore. But now I appreciate the fact I can remember at all. Track taught me so many things besides how to throw.

During my senior year and final season as a collegiate athlete, my Coach and I were in Irvine, California for Conference Championships and I had just thrown a really far throw.... into No-Mans-land. 

As I finished my final throw, it rocketed into the air, took a definite right turn, and flew right over the stands packed with fans, right into the revene behind us. 

*WHACK!*

I'm pretty sure I broke a tree or two. I was ranked #1 in the conference going into the competition and the day’s work hadn’t exactly gone as well as I planned.

I was freezing, I was beyond frustrated with myself, and it was early in the morning. I had just no marked as the leading (and Nationally ranked thrower) in a Conference Championship meet.

“UGH! I *Bleep* suck!”

I began to walk off in the direction of the athletes waiting area when Coach grabbed me by the arm.

“If you say that again, we might as well quit now.”

“But coach, I DO suck! Didn’t you see that? I don't have it today.”

She glanced over at the stands.

“Yep, I sure did. That throw sucked. But you don’t.”

You see I still had National Championships the very next week and USA Championships two weeks after that. I used to think actions spoke louder than words, but to tell you the truth, I'm pretty sure it’s an even split.

Words have enormous power —

the power to make or ruin someone’s day,
the power to encourage or embarrass,
the power to inspire or crush!

Words speak to the person within. An insecure person will tear others down with their words. A fulfilled person will make others strong.

The opposite is also true. There have been studies showing our actions can actually change how we feel. For example, smiling has been shown to make you happier. 

More so than smiling, the words you let loose have a direct effect on you and everyone around you.

Because everyone here at Spoonie Essentials Box wants to help you live your #SEBestLife, here are 4 phrases you should start saying less to love yourself more!

1.“I ALWAYS ______”

No you don’t. Maybe you did one time, or you did in the past, but you don’t always. Don’t you dare write your future before it happens.

The human condition is always in motion. You aren’t the same person you were last year or last month or probably even yesterday. You know?

If you say “I always smoke” I’d be floored at your ability to light one up when you were in the womb.

Don’t cast a curse on yourself. You are not “always” anything.

Say instead: “In the past, I have ____” or “I messed up that time.”

2. “OH, IT’S NOTHING”

Humans have a weird thing where we long for the approval of others, but we smack it away when it comes.

This phrase usually comes after a compliment. Whenever you reject your own positive qualities/wins/accomplishments by saying “it’s nothing,” you may as well be saying “I’m nothing.”

One of the quickest ways to step into your own power is to start accepting the things you are good at. And you are good at things, I promise.

Nothing is nothing. Everything is something. You may as well start accepting credit for your contributions.

When complimented, say instead: “Thank you so much” “I appreciate that” or “I receive that.”

3. “HE/SHE/THEY STARTED WITH ____. THAT’S NOT FAIR!”

Nope, sorry. Nothing is fair. You weren’t born like LeBron, so you might never play professional basketball. That’s just the way it is.

THE BEST WAY TO COMBAT THE UNFAIRNESS OF LIFE IS TO FIND WHERE LIFE IS UNFAIR IN YOUR FAVOR.

Are you short? Sweet, you can get to places others can’t.

Introverted? Awesome, lock yourself away and do what you love most. Not everyone can do that.

Not Creative? No problem. Crunch the crap out of that data and logic your way to the top.

Everyone has something. You just have to find your thing.

Say instead: “I don’t have that advantage, but I do have ____”

4.“IF ONLY ____ THEN I COULD ____”

Happiness starts from where you are. Period.

Stop making excuses or change your expectations. All you have to work with is the things you have to see the beauty and dopeness in your own life.

What matters is how you finish.

Say instead: “Since I have ____ I can ____”

—

BONUS: “I CAN’T _________”

Yes you can.

You are unstoppable.

Be good to yourself, treat you the way you treat other people. Living your best life is loving yourself. Loving you enough to be kind to you too. Caring enough about you to give yourself some grace. It won't happen over night, but practice removing these 4 phrases from your life and see how much it changes!

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