I Knew He Loved Me When He Sent Me Postmates.

With all the hustle and bustle of the chronic illness life I find myself being asked more and more about relationships and loving someone with chronic illness. While I am not a spokesperson for the entire chronic illness population, I would like to offer you a love story that may offer you answers to your questions tucked neatly and nestled between its words.

Loving someone with chronic illness is no different than loving someone who doesn't except loving a chronically ill human being takes a little bit of faith, trust, patience, compassion, empathy, ingenuity and pixy dust. I'm kidding, kind of. But seriously I have a chronic illness, ok several, but I'm also a millennial graduate educated small business owning women. Loving me is challenging. I come with my own set of allergies list, emergency doctor reference sheets, Infusion blackout dates, medication reminders, hospital bills, student loans, attitudes, good days and bad. You see now what I mean about it taking just a little extra to love someone with a chronic illness? I know not everyone has the "social professional" life I have but 9 times out of 10 many of my chronic illness Essentials are on someone you know with chronic illness lists. 

Somehow I have been lucky enough to have a man in my life who doesn't judge me for forgetting conversations we've had yesterday. Who cleans my car after I've thrown up because my Crohn's disease is flaring. Who stays up until 2 sometimes 3am talking to me when my insomnia is at it's worst. But I knew this man loved me when he sent me Postmates when I was stuck in bed  a week after chemotherapy. 

He and I started dating back in March, so our relationship is relatively new. When he met me I had already completed 11 chemotherapy treatments and still had 4 months of treatment to go. He knew just how sick I was. How sick I didn't look. In his words "he knew I was a little broken but he didn't know why". The level of kindness and compassion he has shown me has been unparalleled, putting together things I've bought online in the wee hours of the morning or assembling my boxes for my care package subscription business. It's just unreal. 

But when I was at home for a week during the first chemo I'd had since we'd gotten serious, this man sent me Postmates. He wanted to make sure I ate. So he sent me $316 worth of Postmates. It is the oddest yet sweetest most understanding thing anyone has done since I've been diagnosed with any of my illnesses. He understood that I wanted to maintain my ability to take care of myself. I wouldn't ask him for help because I felt I barely knew him. I was embarrassed to admit I hadn't done much of anything but throw up and lay in bed. 

Without asking, without calling any major attention to it, he sent me my favorite orders from Pickup Stix, The Poke Shack, and Jack in the Box. It wasn't the healthiest food. It wasn't the most expensive. It was the foods I enjoy when I'm healthy. Not only had I needed to eat, I definitely needed an emotional pick me up. I knew then that he loved me. He had found a way to understand me, to help me, and to show me that he cared even though he was working 90 hours that week. 

I can't really explain it better than that. When you go through each day prepared for really crappy days, moderate days, and some good days having someone who does anything in their power to make your day a little brighter, a little better, and a little easier in just the way that you need is the perfect example of the kind of care needed to increase the success of a relationship with a chronic illness Patient Warrior. It sounds simple because it is. 

Loving us is just like loving anyone else, except it just takes a little faith, trust, Patience, empathy, understanding, ingenuity, compassion, and pixie dust! Well that and a smart phone to send Postmates. Lol It's corny, but that's how I know he loves me and my chronic illnesses aren't going to be a problem for us. 

To all my chronic illness Patient Warriors out there, if you're looking for love and haven't found it yet I'd say timing is everything. Give yourself the time to get to know someone and allow them the opportunity to try and understand living your life and that beautiful heart you have. To all of those chronically ill Patient Warriors in relationships, hug your person extra tight for me and show them a little "random act of appreciation", you'll thank me later. And to all those beautiful, magnificent, Patient, kind souls out there daring to love someone no matter their illness or ailment I salute you and thank you from the bottom on my heat for seeing us, loving us, and not allowing our illnesses to define us for you. To my Person, I love you. "Bonnie & Clyde. Solly & B. I got you duh" lol.