Sorry, Battery Cannot Charge, Will Die Soon.

I’ve been running on zero battery life for what seems like forever now. I’m tired. Not the kind of tired that goes away with sleep. But the kind of tired that comes when you’ve been tirelessly laboring over 200 plus boxes, 40,000 emails, shipping errors, hundreds of daily Instagram and Facebook messages, vendor disputes, hospital stays, chemotherapy, lack of medicine because of lack of money, being homeless, Graduate School assignments, Crohn’s Disease or Lupus flares every month for the past 10 months. In my heart I want to be there for each and every one of the people who message me for support and encouragement or every chronically ill entrepreneur who needs free consulting. But I am overwhelmed, I cannot keep up with the amount of energy that is required to complete all of these task being just one person lacking energy myself.

I hate the way it makes me feel like my illnesses have limited me once again, but if I have learned nothing over this year I have learned that though I created Spoonie Essentials Box and put the care into these care packages, this company is so much bigger than me. It’s about the people, the community, each and every one of you that reach out because Spoonie Essentials has touched you in some way shape or form.

I want to be able to continue to provide you all with the level of support and encouragement you need and deserve but I simply cannot do it all alone. It is not sustainable for my health or sanity lol. No but really I stress so much when I’m not getting to back to people and I can’t even fully take time to get better because I feel bad knowing that I’m causing other people stress by not responding to them, or people not getting their boxes or something missing or just everything I don’t know. It is literally always something and it feels like right when I am caught up and can just breathe for a minute; my website portal sends out a random message in the middle of the night and I wake up to 100 new emails about it.

I don’t know. On one hand I feel incredibly blessed to even be able to have the opportunity to be able to interact and support so many other people going through similar things that I am, and on the other I don’t know how long I can continue running on no battery.

xo britt