023: Heavy Lifting.

I think all relationships go in cycles. Even romantically inclined relationships. There's periods of time where different parts that make up the whole do the heavy lifting in the relationship, while the others do less. Sometimes we choose to love people through these heavier lifting cycles. In part we are proving that we are in it for the long haul, while simultaneously demonstrating that despite the current circumstances we love people still. 

Sometimes we have to be the glue that holds a relationship together. Sometimes we have to go the extra mile, send that extra text, make plans for quality time when they don't feel like getting out of bed, send them screen shots of home remedies when they're sick, or we have to swing by the store and pick them up Ensure and Hawaiian-style poke because they're hungry and suck at nourishing theirselves. 

If you haven't ever truly loved someone this concept may go way over your head. You just might not understand the type of love I'm talking about yet, you have reached that stage in life yet. The uncharted territory of the levels of the love abyss are deep my spoonies. I pray one day this feeling is yours, but in the meantime let me give you a preview. 

There will come a time in your life where someone you love is going through something, in the process of them going through their storm; this person may withdraw, be distant, be at times cold, maybe continually not doing the right thing? All the while little glimmers of their love for you will shine through. In those hard cold withdrawn moments, those glimmers will mean everything. 

You'll have to dig deep in yourself to be the bigger person when they themselves don't see how their behavior has changed, how they have changed. You'll have to be patient enough to slowly share with them your concerns. You'll have to be compassionate enough to know that everyone deals with life differently, there isn't a right or wrong way. You'll have to love yourself enough to know when you too need space. But this is exactly what the good book is talking about when it says "for better or for worse". This is the devotion to love that they ascribe all man kind to be like. 

This, this whole love you in-spite of your circumstances attitude and rainy days thing is hard. So hard that most people fear it, they run away before they ever have to be that vulnerable. They cut ties and vanish before they ever have to analyze and attach meaning to someone's actions or words or have meaning attached to their own. We are afraid of the good fight, the savory rewards don't always seem to outweigh the bitter costs. 

Maybe because of my deep reverence for loyalty I'm unable to process why people don't view sincere selfless love like this. Maybe I watched too many fairytales as a kid. Maybe I interpreted the Bible's 1 Corinthians literally and it was only a metaphor. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe humans aren't meant to carry the weight of another when they are so tired from weathering their storm they need someone to lean on. Maybe I've misread the grand design. Maybe though, I'm right! 

Maybe we need to be more loyal. Maybe we need to help more even when someone doesn't ask and receive it when we haven't. Maybe we need to be more compassionate. Maybe we need to be more empathetic, more freely giving of the very kindness we wish was ours. Maybe because at the end of the day we all want validation of our human existence, we all yearn to matter to someone other than our family. We should try giving more of all of that warm goodness so that we can all start receiving more of it. 

But who knows, I'm just a girl with an iPhone trying to own my truth. I could just be too many philosophical typed out notes away from reality to see that people don't love like this anymore, people like this don't exist, and if they do; they're a unicorn. 

Ox.